The giraffes at Safari West are a well-known threat to human safety. They’re a menace. You can see how terrifying they are by noting the horror on my son’s face as this alien bully stuck his head in our jeep in a clear attempt to slobber on us all to a grim, grisly death.

We barely escaped with our lives. I’ll stick my neck out and say the odds were long and our chances were pretty narrow.