If someone dare try to take down Lon Shapiro, they won’t be doing it on my watch. Why? The man knows how to take on a challenge. My listicle rant turned out to be mere bait; a challenge to comport them all into one missive. Well played, sir. You have my admiration.

But I didn’t need that seventh rule. Up to this point, I thought I had been concealing my anger issues quite effectively. A little tip: Don’t tell your woman writer that she’s a meanderer. They hate that. Writers, I mean.

And I was going to read that wildly popular parody of self-help articles you helpfully suggested, but I was stopped by my own rule #1. This is a quandary.