Kinda. — Hey sport. You okay, chief? We, the New York Grand Jury, couldn’t help but notice that you seem a little down in the dumps lately. We get it, being a former U.S. president is tough. All those responsibilities, all that power, and now you’re just a regular Joe again. We…

As the old saying goes, “politics makes strange bedfellows.” But when politics makes for strange bedhead, well that’s just going too far. Rep. Jim Jordan, the pride of Ohio, is here to say no to cowlicks, rogue curls and stray strands for a certain class of politician. Jordan, a Republican…

I created AI first — ChatGPT not taking your prompts? System overloaded? No problem. They copied me anyway. I got your answers, your essays, your code and your poetry right here. I’m ChatGSantos. PROMPT: What does it take to get elected to the U.S. House of Representatives? ChatGSantos: Integrity. People respect and demand integrity … is…

Her: Listen. I want you backing me on this. Take this seriously, OK? Him: Fine. But if you mention “pina coladas” or “getting caught in the rain” one more time, I’m outta here. Her: Fine. Him: Fine. Her: That wasn’t my or your finest hour. Him: I know, I know…

Admittedly, this colossal waste of time makes no sense unless you read the adventures of the Yacht Rock Couple as they go to couples counseling. Start your saucy, groovy avoidance of more worthy content by reading it first, my lovelies. 1. I Want You Back, The Jackson 5 2. Escape…

You took the money, right? Nobody stole it from you. Nobody robbed you of your songs. You sold them, right? You did. Nobody else. You. Those bank notes are for you. I don’t have them. I didn’t get the money. Did someone else? Presumably, no. You took the money. …

A pome by The Greatest … look, there’s never been a more nicer president than me, OK? Why are people so mean? The way we treat each other is obscene. We pound and pound, Grind each other into the ground. And get a message to Garland letting him know that my people are going to riot. Why can’t people be more like my MAGAts? Not like those…

12 tips to keep people from calling you a d!ck — Ask: Is there a complaint department? Look around. Check. Ask. Is there a complaint department at your organization? If not, see № 2. Paddle your own canoe You can do it. You should do it. Be the change you want to see in your organization. Be self-sufficient. Be a resource that can help others float downstream. Do not build your own canoe There are other boats…

I’m hearing he is not Donald Trump — Thank you, thank you. Da. Thank you. Folks, they said we couldn’t win. Couldn’t be done. People came up to me, big manly Russian men and women, with tears in their eyes, and said, “Mr. Putin, sir, you can’t mean it. It’s crazy. It’s too bold. Too macho. It can’t…